Gird Up Your Loins

Dear November of 2011 Self,

            Congratulations on finally making the choice to start a family. Gird thy loins for the path to conception is long. You will lose patience and hope, but God will fulfill your desires.

Dear January of 2013 Self,

            The loss of your first child will have innumerable fallout. Gird your loins for a difficult year. You will be unbearable to live with. You will avoid dealing with reality and channel your anger towards your husband. You will drive him away. He will become distant. Your bond will be tested. God will heal your relationship and bless you with a second child. You will see her little body and hear her heartbeat. You shall name her Ava.

Dear September of 2014 Self,

            You will begin the school year on a joyful note. Gird your loins for a deep depression. It will feel as if the walls are caving in on all sides. Difficulties and changes at work will compound your grief. Negativity will ooze out or your pores making kid gloves necessary to handle you. A conversation with a work colleague will restore a right view. You will stop getting in your own way. God will bless you with a third child.

Dear June of 2015 Self,

            You will the wall and shatter. Gird your loins for this time you will rise as a phoenix. You will become utterly helpless as stress-induced vertigo breaks you down. You will stop obsessing about a family and reach for another goal:  American Ninja Warrior. You will gird your loins to overcome obstacles, to have fun, and to restore balance. God blesses you daily with a loving husband and countless other blessings.

Dear October of 2015 Self,

            Gird your loins for no matter what life throws at you, the Lord your God is with you. Blessed be His name. Hallelujah.